And the devotion spoke to just that feeling. As you may recall from other blog posts, I am reading the "Jesus Calling" devotional by Sarah Young right now. When I really focus on the words and do more than just go through the motions of "reading my devotion for the day", the words always speak to me. While I was just going through the motions at the start, the power of The Word came through and really connected my brain and my heart.
Just like the devotion said, "this monotony can dull your thinking until your mind slips into neutral." (I was so there!) But then it also went on to say "the best remedy is to refocus your mind and heart on Me, your constant Companion."
For those who don't know me in real life, let me tell you - I LOVE MUSIC! I love singing. I love playing my guitar. I love listening to the radio. I love going to Christian concerts. Music is the language of my heart. (Attn: perspective suitors, if you can sing you'll have an edge of "the other guys". Make it Christian songs, you'll be top dog!)I digress.... Anyways, music is the language of my heart. And when I read those last two words "constant Companion" it immediately put in my mind (ear worm!) a song my Francesca Battistelli called "Constant".
I so needed those words to remind me that God is my constant Companion, always by my side, even when I feel like He's far away. He's not. He didn't go anywhere, I just stopped being focused on Him and I need to redirect my gaze.
That seems to keep happening to me a lot lately. I've been far from God; He hasn't been far from me. My devotional and prayer life has been just going through the motions. My church attendance has been... well... absent for months. I don't want to just go through the motions anymore. I want to reconnect to this vital relationship.
I have started putting boundaries around my devotional and worship time to protect it for the sacred thing that it is. At 9 pm, Sunday through Thursday I start getting ready for bed and spend time reading my devotion and praying (on Friday and Saturday I still do my devotion, but it might be a little later). At 6 am, Monday through Friday, I get up and read my morning email devotion and follow it with yoga. I'm setting aside time to be intentional about my health. And to be totally honest, some days it's really hard. Last week there were a few mornings where 30 minutes extra in bed sounded really, really good, but I've made a commitment to myself and I didn't want to let myself down. I'm working on establishing a new habit and I don't want to make excuses. I'm worth it.
He's worth it, too. He's my constant Companion.
Francesca Battistelli - Listen To "Constant" here
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