My Adam

(An open letter to God)

I'm so tired of being alone. I want a partner to lean on. Someone to support me and give me strength when I'm tired. To listen to my hurts and be there with me through them.

I want to be able to be there for someone. To be his encourager and supporter. His safe place to come home to at the end of a day's work. Someone to give my love to and who gives his love to me.

I'm realizing that other things, like his job and education level don't matter to me quite so much. What matters more is if he's a good, honest man. Does he work hard? Does he care for me and protect me - emotionally and physically? Can we laugh together? Cry together? Serve together? Does he love You, too?

I'm just tired of being alone, God. Where is MY helper? MY partner?

When you created Adam, you said it's not good for man to be alone, so you created Eve for him. Who did you create me for? Who did you create for me?

I'm tired, God. And I'm lonely. Where is MY Adam?

Love Well

Some people love well. Some people don't love very well. They are probably doing it the best they can, but because they didn't have better examples in their own life or didn't try to learn to love well, their love ends up hurting others.

Have you had someone in your life like that, someone who doesn't love you well and ends up hurting you? I have. And some days I let it get to me and I feel frustrated and hurt by the way they love me. And I'm good days I can look at them with compassion, sigh, and accept that they are doing the best they can even though it doesn't feel like good love to me.

As I'm reading my Bible study book this evening, I got to this sentence "God made sure this message got to you in the middle of whatever you are facing right now." And after reading that sentence all I can say is "thank you, Jesus!" Thank you for loving me well. Thank you for loving me in a way that always feel safe and always feels nurturing and always feels compassionate. In a way that makes me feel like I am of the utmost importance to you. In a way that makes me feel treasured, but not shown off like flashy jewels.

And, yep, this reminds me of a song. Check out Mercy Me's song, "The Generous Mr. Lovewell" here:
https://youtu.be/R5oPiYOMHwg

My hope is that by sharing my journey, my struggles and my triumphs, out won't be  wasted time and energy here, but that it will encourage others. I'm here. I struggle. Sometimes I get stuck for a bit. But I eventually get unstuck and keep moving. It's not perfect, but it's progress.

Whatever you're facing, you can get through it. Our struggles may not be the same. But hard is hard. You're not alone. And you're stronger that you know. I was. I am. Keep moving, friend. Don't give up.