Love Well

Some people love well. Some people don't love very well. They are probably doing it the best they can, but because they didn't have better examples in their own life or didn't try to learn to love well, their love ends up hurting others.

Have you had someone in your life like that, someone who doesn't love you well and ends up hurting you? I have. And some days I let it get to me and I feel frustrated and hurt by the way they love me. And I'm good days I can look at them with compassion, sigh, and accept that they are doing the best they can even though it doesn't feel like good love to me.

As I'm reading my Bible study book this evening, I got to this sentence "God made sure this message got to you in the middle of whatever you are facing right now." And after reading that sentence all I can say is "thank you, Jesus!" Thank you for loving me well. Thank you for loving me in a way that always feel safe and always feels nurturing and always feels compassionate. In a way that makes me feel like I am of the utmost importance to you. In a way that makes me feel treasured, but not shown off like flashy jewels.

And, yep, this reminds me of a song. Check out Mercy Me's song, "The Generous Mr. Lovewell" here:
https://youtu.be/R5oPiYOMHwg

My hope is that by sharing my journey, my struggles and my triumphs, out won't be  wasted time and energy here, but that it will encourage others. I'm here. I struggle. Sometimes I get stuck for a bit. But I eventually get unstuck and keep moving. It's not perfect, but it's progress.

Whatever you're facing, you can get through it. Our struggles may not be the same. But hard is hard. You're not alone. And you're stronger that you know. I was. I am. Keep moving, friend. Don't give up.

Free Advice

I was chatting with a friend yesterday who said they were hoping to get their body back; the body they had when they were 19 years old (10 years ago). What I told them is some of the things I learned to tell myself along my journey. I hope that you find these words helpful and encouraging.

1. What's your goal and is your goal realistic?
Can you really get back the body you had 10 years ago (or however long ago)? For me, the goal wasn't a size but a feeling. Actually, several feelings. Feelings of confidence, comfort (in my own skin), sexiness. I wanted to be able to run and play with my niece and nephew and students. Those goals I reached a long time before I reached a weight/size goal. Don't expect a quick fix plan (like shakes, wraps, or diet pills, etc.) to be sustainable. Find what works for your life- your REAL life.

2. How are you going to get there?
I had to stop HOPING that things would change, so I sat down and made a year-long plan. I mapped out where I wanted to be a year later, then broke down into smaller increments quarterly, then monthly of where I wanted to be. Then I made a plan for small changes to make each month to my activity level and eating. Making small changes over time has made it reasonable and helped me stick with it.

3. Don't expect perfection, just improvement.
You aren't perfect, allow yourself  forgiveness for mistakes in the past and the future. I had to tell myself this all the time. There will be plateaus. It's a good time to take stock of what's worked and where you are. Give your body a break if you've been working really hard. The body needs time to recover.

4. Don't forget to celebrate the small milestones along the way.
Every time I could tighten my belt another notch or had to buy new pants, I celebrated. I wasn't at my goal, but I was not where I had been. Now I can't even wear that belt, it's too big and there's not enough notches.

5. Don't forget your body needs rest to recover.
This kind of goes along with #3 about plateaus being a time to recover. Lifting weights and building muscle begins by tearing the muscle. It's the rebuilding of the muscle that causes it to grow. In order to rebuild and grow the muscle needs rest. Alternate body parts on weight lifting days and give yourself one or two days completely off each week. (*NOTE: I'm not an expert, but this is part of every expert's advice that I've ever heard or read. Always talk to your doctor or medical professional for what will be right for you.)

6. Mix it up.
Don't keep doing the same workout (cardio, weights) every day. Mix up your workouts just like you'll mix up your food. Don't eat the same meals every day for weeks, months on end. I mix up my weight training every month with a new routine. I added time to my cardio (walking) over several months. When I reached the 1 hour mark, I tried to increase my speed so I could go a greater distance in the same amount of time. Now I'm working on training for running a 5k with the "Couch to 5k" app.

You get what you pay for, but that's my two cents for those hoping to make a change. Don't just HOPE that it will happen- MAKE it happen.

The Butt, The Belly, and Self-Image

I got some new pants after Christmas. They make my butt look great. But I have to be careful or they show off a little muffin top when I'm bloated.. (Additional incentive to eat well and continue my fitness plan- my clothes look better on me.)

After a few days of being back from vacation and back to my usual workout routine my body and mind are feeling a lot better. I woke up this morning feeling pretty good about myself- until I looked at myself naked in the mirror. I saw a belly that's pouchy and a butt with some extra dimples.

When I see that I want to keep it covered. I feel grateful that it's winter and bathing suits are out of season. I feel grateful for spanx and spandex that help put things in place when dressing up. And I wonder if I can ever do enough crunches or lunges to put things back where they belong.

On days like today where I've been eating well and taking care of myself, I let those thoughts slip quickly from my mind. But I know there will probably be other days where those thoughts will nag and linger. Those are the days I fight to remember how far I've come. I fight to forgive myself for the damage I did to my body for so long and the abuse I put it through.

My body will never look the same as someone who had always maintained this healthy weight. My body bears the scars of someone whose weight has gone up and down and up again for several years. But my body is amazing and resilient. It has brought me this far and now I plan to take good care of it so it can take me many years into the future.

To my body- I'm sorry and thank you. I am grateful for your strength and support.

It Takes a Village

It takes a village to raise a child.

It also takes a village to succeed on this journey.

That's the reason I started this blog. I wanted to share my journey and provide encouragement to others. I hope that through sharing my ups and downs we can build our villages and find support on our journeys.

Today I read a great blog article about the "#1 Habit You Should Have to Lose Weight". (Read it here) It reminded me of why this is so important to me. I need you. And hopefully, you need me, too.

So, on that note, I want to share some successes with you.

1- I'm staying away from sugar, mostly. I had a small bowl of gelato on a date the other night. I didn't finish it, and I didn't let it set me off on a sugar binge for days. It was a small victory.

2- I've been working out regularly. My doctor says I'm at a good weight, but if I wanted I could lose 5-10 more pounds. He also said I need to focus on toning. So, I'm beefing up the abs work to tone my middle a bit more.

3. And because of that hard work.... drum roll, please.... I'm down another notch on my belt! At the end of the belt. Kind of sad because I love this belt. Guess it's time to go shopping again.