More Than Hot

An article that came across my Facebook wall prompted me to write this. It was about the difference between women who are hot vs. beautiful. I highly encourage you to read it. I think it will speak to your heart, too.

At first, on my weight loss journey I did have some aspirations to be hot. To have a body that men would desire. To have a body that I would desire. Now, I long to be beautiful and I scoff when men tell me I'm hot.

I don't want to be (just) hot.

Hot is what is seen on the outside. I want a man to see my inner and outer beauty. Hotness fades after the music dies, the makeup comes off, the drinks wear off. Beauty radiates from within. 

Like the Bible characters of Esther, Mary, and Ruth, I don't want to be safe, nice, or sweet; I want to be a powerful, passionate woman who is a beautiful warrior. A warrior who fights in a feminine way for my family, friends, children in need, and myself. And I want a man who is drawn to my character, such as courage, faith, and bravery.

As I continue reading chapter one of "Captivating" (yes, I'm still only on chapter one), there are so many truths that jump out to me and speak to my heart. The desire to be beautiful is lifelong and has caused some women grief while others have been shamed, used, and abused for it, yet the desire still remains in a woman's heart. "And it's not just the desire for an outward beauty, but more - a desire to be captivating in the depths of who you are." A captivating woman has a soul that is alive.

I want to be seen for more than my outward beauty. I desire to be seen and appreciated for what's in my heart - my great capacity for love, my loyalty - my fierce loyalty, and my compassion. When eHarmony matches ask my three best qualities, those are what I write about. I long to be seen and admired for those things in my heart.

And here's a quote from the book that's one of my favorite's so far:

"We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want beauty that can be seen; beauty that can be felt; beauty that affects others; a beauty that is all our own to unveil."

That is the kind of beauty I want. That's what I want others to see in me.

All quotes taken from:
Eldredge, John and Stasi. Captivating. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2010. Print.

I See Me

I realized something today during yoga class. I'm beautiful. I'm beautiful and my body can move in amazing ways. Ok, so I can't do all the yoga poses with total ease and comfort and fluidity, but still, my body is beautiful and amazing. And I don't mean it in a conceited way. It's just a self-realization.

Yes, I know I'm beautiful when I get dressed up to go salsa dancing or have a night out with my girl friends, but I didn't realize how beautiful it is when dressed in workout gear, no make-up on, doing things that are challenging. But as I looked up from various poses to see if I was correctly mimicking the instructor, I saw my own reflection in the mirror of the darkened classroom. And I saw something beautiful.

I saw a long, lean shape. I saw thin places and curvy places. I saw muscle definition. I saw strength and areas that need support. I really saw me. And it's nice to finally see myself for all the things that I am. I'm amazing and wonderful. I'm special and unique.

In light of all my wonder over my freshly discovered beauty, I realized I deserve some things. I deserve to date a man who will honor and cherish this beauty, not just lust after it. I deserve to be with someone who will see all the beauty that I see and more.

From myself, I deserve continued acceptance and forgiveness. I deserve to honor and cherish my own body by exercising, eating well, and getting enough sleep to nourish it inside and out. I am a beautiful creation of the Creator and I deserve special care and attention. I deserve to nourish my spirit through time with my Creator and His Word.

Wow. I really am beautiful and strong. It's not just something I say hoping to believe it. Today I believe because I have seen.