God Speaks

I thought that not getting the job in Denver was a great disappointment. For several days I dragged myself around feeling very sad and disappointed. I was probably not much fun to be with because on top of that, my family, who I had hoped was coming to visit my birthday week, had a change of plans so I wasn't going to get to see them, either. I was just sad and blue for several days. Even when interviewing with another school about a teaching position closer to my brother's family. I just couldn't get excited about it.

A few days have passed and I'm not so sad anymore.

There's that relationship being revived again. And I'm starting to hope again. I keep seeing reminders to hope in what could be. Today, I had a reminder that maybe my disappointment at not getting the job in Denver could be leading me to other blessings. Perhaps the blessing of a renewed relationship with someone I was deeply in love with and want to love again. (A line from "Pride and Prejudice" keeps running through my mind. Jane Bennett says something like, "I'm very much in danger of falling in love with him as much as I was before (or something like that).)

From the devotion at Proverbs 31:
http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/when-your-circumstances-feel-like-chains/

Are you feeling chained back from your dreams? I encourage you to read this devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries.

Poems of the Tiger and the Dove

This man I loved was inspired to write me a poem. And something about our love inspired me to do the same. He has gone from my life, but the poems and memories remain.


April, 16-18th 2015 written by Tiger, about our first date weekend
untitled
The first time we kissed
my heart nearly missed
the pattern of its faithful beat.
To feel your lips touch mine,
sent me onto cloud nine.
I could barely stand on my own two feet.
The dances we shared, the laughter we dared,
as two kind souls learned from each other.
We took a chance on the web
and now in my head I am glad we found each other.
Until I see you again at our familiar places
and outdoor spaces,
will always have a picture of you ... making silly faces.

April 26,2015 written by Dove

"The Tiger and The Dove" 

strong, gentle, dauntless 

tender, peaceful, beloved 

matchless together 

April 27, 2015 written by Dove 

"Safe" 

To the one I love 

To the one who has captured my heart 

I give it freely I know it is safe with you 

You are my strong protector 

My gentle love 

My encourager 

My inspiration 

I am yours

The Tiger and The Dove

This is a post I wrote a few months ago but wasn't ready to publish. It's now time to share.

I was in love. The relationship ended. My heart ached for a long while because it was the first time I experienced real, unconditional love from a man; something I've longed for my whole life. And just as quickly as it came into my life, it was gone again. And there was little explanation as to why or what had happened. Sometimes I still wonder where my tiger went.

Dear Tiger,

I wish I knew what happened to make your love change. Three weeks ago you loved me and I was your dove. Now there's only silence.

You loved me from the start. It took me a little longer. I believed in your love. I believed in you. Now you're gone.

I wish I knew why. I wish I could go back and undo what I did wrong. I wish I could show you how I've changed, that I've learned from my mistakes.

But you're gone. You've disappeared like a ghost.

Now I'm left with the memory of your love, your smile, your gentle touch, shared prayers, your gentle and tender heart, your compassion and generosity, and our time together to make me smile. I'm left with distance, no reply, lack of communication, and wondering what happened which makes my heart ache and tears fall.

It seems you've left me so I'm letting you go. Good bye, my Tiger.

But I believe in second chances. I believe in a God who forgives and gives me second, third, fourth, multiple chances every time I fall and fail; He helps me back up. I believe in Love. God is love. I believe in forgiveness, learning from past mistakes, and moving on.

If you come to a place where you want a second chance...

Love,

Your Dove

Firework
You came shooting into my life
Things changed fast
You made things happen. A whirlwind. An explosion.
Our heads were spinning and hearts pumping.

Life stepped in to slow us down .
We got scared. We'd moved so fast.

We drifted apart
to nothing.
No words anymore.
Empty space. Silence. Longing. Heartache.

Good bye, my Tiger
Your Dove is wounded.