Tummy Tale

Cruising through Facebook today, I came across a story similar to one I've been meaning to write for several weeks. The tale of tummies (read it here) is the spring board for bringing compassion to the way we interact with people.

Here's my tummy. Here's my story.

I took this picture while trying on pants for summer. I was feeling frustrated because the pants weren't fitting right. At first I was upset that I looked terrible in them, then I remembered the problem isn't my body, the problem is the pants.

I'm a teacher and aunt who loves her kids with all her heart. I have a big heart and love deeply. I'm very in tune with my feelings. I've learned that feelings are just feelings, I don't have to fear them. And I don't have to eat my feelings. I've only recently learned to love myself exactly as I am. I've amazed myself at what my body can do and the punishment I've put it through and survived. Over the years I've been fit and I've been fat. I've gained and lost weight many times. Recently, I lost over 100 pounds. My body has done amazing things. I'm learning to love my body, all parts including my belly.

The Mirror That Changed My Perspective

I went shopping this afternoon for new blue jeans. I only have two pairs and wanted a third. Fortunately, Old Navy is having a sale on jeans right now and I like the way theirs fit me so I headed over to try on jeans this afternoon.

I grabbed some 10's off the shelf, and just for the heck of it I grabbed some 8's, too, you know, just in case. The 10's fit, not too snugly, as I knew they would. With a small hope, I decided to go for the 8's. I put one foot in and then the other, afraid to breathe as I pulled them up. I was delighted to discover that they buttoned and zipped easily. Yes, easily!

But could I sit? And how did they make my butt look? And would my tummy look poochy in them?

Yes, good, and no. I could sit, my butt looked good, and no, my tummy didn't look poochy.

Ok, maybe a little poochy. I tried looking at myself in the dressing room mirror. I was skeptical. So I tried the three-way mirror in the hallway of the dressing rooms. Was that really me? Did I really look like that?

Ok, so I had also tried on a sweater, because why not. And what I saw in the dressing room as major back fat and muffin top, didn't look so bad in the better-lit three-way mirror. In fact, I looked pretty cute. Was that really me? I couldn't help but stare at myself.

Thankfully there was no one around, so I continued to examine myself from all the angles standing in the mirror. There also happened to be bench nearby so I checked out my seated view. My belly, which I still saw as enormously fat, was not so bad. Actually, it was pretty small. There is a slight roll, but my waist is so tiny now that the little roll really is a little roll. Is this really me?

Yes, it really is me and I look fabulous. I'm still having a hard time accepting that this body is mine and that it looks so good. I don't need others to tell me; I need me to see it, believe it, and reaffirm it for myself.

I look good.

I look good!

I Look Good!!!