Surprise!

Well.... so this just happened:

I was just reaching up to floss my teeth and my bicep accidentally flexed. (No, REALLY! It was totally accidental. I'm not in the habit of flexing my arms in the mirror at myself while going through my evening grooming rituals.)

I was so caught by surprise that I dropped the floss and texted my trainer. He "LOL'd" at me and then congratulated me.

Meanwhile, I started crying happy tears. I have had body issues for so long, y'all, that I can't remember the last time I was so amazed and proud of my body.

So, I'm just gonna savor the moment by closing my eyes and taking some deep breaths while I think about this and appreciate my body for all it's done for me. And smile.

100

On Tuesday my students will celebrate the 100th day of school. It's a fun day of practicing counting to 100, doing things in groups of 100, eating the number 100 and more.

Today, I am celebrating 100. 100 pounds gone.

100 pounds gone!

Holy smokes. That's like:

100 boxes of butter

2 of these

 20 of my roommate's cat

1 toilet (really, I Googled it)

a 13-year-old child

a 70" diameter pumpkin

a hellfire missile (or HAL-3)

a miniature horse

a seal

a Rotax 503 2-cylinder, 2 stroke, fan-cooled airplane engine

a small deer

a large goat

Milestone Celebration

Ok, I've said it again and again: it's important to celebrate along the way, so today I'm celebrating having reached another milestone. But first, let me say, I am NOT a runner.

One of my goals at the end of last December was to run. Not like I wanted to train for a marathon or anything, but I wanted to have the freedom to move my body in that way. I wanted to be able to run around with "my kids" and my niece and nephew. (My kids are my students.)

Today I ran around with "my kids" and had a blast! I joined in the game of tag during PE this afternoon. And I had so much fun. I could fake running slow so they could tag me not because I really was slow.

As I reflected on that success this evening as I left the fitness center I walked a little taller, with my back a little straighter, and a smile on my face. I have reached one of my goals and it feels great.

Where Am I Going?

I've had some off weeks these last several weeks. Hence only one post in October.
I was sick for the middle portion of the month, then spent the next week trying to recover from what was missed while I was sick. While I was sick I started out taking "ok" care of myself, eating fairly well the first few days and getting enough rest, but then things changed. I didn't rest as much and therefore I was too tired to prepare the good foods I knew my body needed. I gave into cravings and tiredness. I ordered pizza and ate junk. It took me a while to get better even after I was over the cold I didn't feel good because I was full of junk.
I knew what I needed to do to feel better: eat better and get back on the exercise routine. So I did just that and started feeling better. I felt so much better that I thought I would be ok to have some candy and sweets at a Halloween party.
I was so wrong.
Today I feel awful. Friday morning I was celebrating officially being down 70 pounds this year. Today, the scale has fluctuated up again and I'm feeling lousy because of the sugar. My body aches. I have a headache. I'm feeling irritable and cranky (that's partly due, though, to the fact that I had to go in to work on my day off).
I've done some thinking the last few days. Why have I been indulging in the sugar and junk that I KNOW will make me feel lousy? Why do I do this when I'm so close to my goal that the end is in sight? Am I afraid of reaching my goal? Where am I going? I've lost sight of how far I've come and where I am headed.

I don't think that's the answer. I think I've been on this journey for so long that I stopped celebrating the small victories and celebrating myself and my progress.
So starting now I'm recognizing my accomplishment and how far I've come in this journey. Tomorrow, I'm going to go buy myself  the new jeans that I've been waiting for and deserve. I'm also going to start back on the healthy eating and exercising plan. (I've found a a great buns workout  from the TODAY show on Facebook!)
I feel proud of how far I've come.
I feel proud of the small changes I've made.
I feel proud of myself sticking with this for so long.
I feel alive.
I feel vibrant.
I feel healthy.
I feel beautiful.
I feel proud that the inner me is now available for all to see.

Celebrating Me

It's important to celebrate little milestones along the journey. When I passed the 200 pound mark I celebrated ME by doing something that would help me feel good about myself. I got my brows waxed. Ok, so the actual process isn't fun, but the results of that process are the prize.

What are some ways you celebrate your milestones? Please share your ideas in the comments!

Celebrating making it past the 200# mark!

 

Goals

Originally, my goal was to make it to under 200 by the end of this year. As the weight melted off quickly in the first few months, I realized I may need to adjust that goal so I moved it to under 200 by the end of June. In May I was just a few pounds away so I decided to see if I could get there by my birthday (June 8).

Today, Saturday, the day before my birthday, is my weekly weigh in day, so I stepped on the scale this morning in eager anticipation. I had woken up feeling good, and hopeful that I was at my goal (since last week I was about a pound and a half away). According to the scale I went up about a pound; 0.8 to be exact.

I was very disappointed. I tried to remind myself of how far I've already come and to keep in mind the big picture. I tried to remind myself that yesterday was an off day and I might just be retaining water. I tried to remind myself that this is a new day and I can make it a good one. Nothing helped.

As I started my morning exercises, determined to work even harder to get to the goal of 200 pounds, my mother observed that I looked sad. As I started to explain, the tears began flowing. I've been really struggling to get past the 200 mark for the last several weeks. I just keep losing and gaining the same pound, pound and a half.

As I lamented and reflected on what's going on in my life right now and the choices I've made I was able to bring up grace, love, and most importantly, compassion for myself. Of course I would be having a hard time getting past this. This is a big milestone. I've lost a lot of weight already and my body may be trying to hang on. My own father had trouble getting past this point for several months until just a few weeks ago. Some days I've been choosing to spend time with my boyfriend before he ships out to Navy boot camp, instead of my daily walk. It all makes sense.

But it also renews my determination to keep my health a priority in my life. I'm going to review what I've been doing and think about changes I could make. I'm also going to see my nutritionist to see if she can make some recommendations to help me get past this hump. And I'm going to keep giving myself compassion, grace, and love because I'm doing the best I can and I've already come so far.