I've decided to set intentions each week that will help me have freedom, life, and abundance.
This week, I intend:
* to not do any "work" work on Sunday, but instead to read or knit or color.
* to go for at least a 20 minutes walk every day after work to clear my head, get fresh air, and get my daily steps.
* to begin each work day with yoga.
* to pack my lunch each day and eat dinner at home.
* to spend no more than one hour each night on work brought home.
* to go to the fitness center twice.
* to write in my journal at least three times.
* to meditate at least twice.
* to input spending on my budget tracker twice this week.
My words to guide this year are freedom, life, abundance.
I want to be free from my addiction to sweets. Free from judgment towards myself. Free to wear all my clothes again, not just my most stretchy leggings and tunics that stretch over and hide my belly.
I want freedom from debt. Freedom to travel. Freedom to give generously.
I want to live a life of abundance and not be held back by fear!
To help me on the path towards this, I've set some intentions for January.
I intend to be kind, loving, and gentle towards myself. To not speak words of judgment but powerful, positive, kind words of life.
To start, I intend to focus on freedom in my physical health and fitness.
I intend to fuel my body with healthy, whole foods, not processed foods like fast food, pasta, or bread. I intend to eat homemade food with lots of veggies. I intend to limit my sugar and consume only sugar found naturally in food.
I intend to do yoga every morning. I intend to get my step goal every day. I intend to go to the gym to lift weights twice a week.
I intend to count all my calories. I intend to watch my macros so they are in the range that works for me. I intend to plan all my meals, and only eat what I plan each day.
I intend to say have strict self-discipline this month to get myself "back on the wagon". I know this will be hard. I know this will at times seem limiting. But I know this will give me the fitness freedom I desire.
I know I can do this. I did it before when I began my 100 pound weight loss. God has given me the ability and strength. With His help I can do it again!
But this time, I don't want to do it alone. I want a team. I want oeople experiencing similar struggles with similar goals. If this sounds like you, consider this your invitation to join me. Let's begin our journey in 2019 together. Let's be Urban Hiker Girls and Guys together.
As I sit and plan how to live out my three words of 2019 in January, a prayer formed that I just cried out to God I share it with you in hope that it speaks to you, someone else who might be feeling alone. You are not alone in your circumstance. I am here. I will walk with you. And God hears and see you, too. He cares for you. And because He does, I do too.
Dear God, Abba Father, Daddy
Help me enter 2019 with a joyful heart, full of gratitude. Give me wisdom, discernment, and patience about the future.
Help me think positively and to plan for the future with your guidance. Give me peace about what the future holds, hope that I can achieve these things, and determination and self-discipline to follow through on these tasks. I'm scared. I feel afraid and overwhelmed by everything going on. Help me focus on You, and one day, one moment at a time.
As I work towards a healthier body again, help me do it with love and gratitude for myself and all that I've been through, rather than punishment for the neglect I've shown my body in recent months. Let me recall the strength I had in the past and use that to motivate me in the future, one day at a time. I cannot do this alone, but You are with me. When trouble causes me to fear and to doubt myself and the strength You have given me, remind me of what I am You: strong, beautiful, beloved child who is loved, beautiful, redeemed, perfect no matter what.
When others criticize me or don't support what I do, help me to not take it to heart, but also help me to look at it as an opportunity to reflect, evaluate, and grow.
When I face obstacles at work, help me to keep my eyes fixed on You and You alone. Let my words and actions honor You. Show me the purpose You have for me here. Show me how to best use my gifts, my time, and all that I am in service to You.
Help me stay present with myself. Help me respond not react. Help me grow through all of this.
Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.
Amen. Amen. It shall be so!
I read a Facebook friend's post about how she made a plan, focused on her goals, and in 2 weeks took off 5 pounds.
I need a plan.
I've put on 7 pounds since I started seeing my boyfriend a month ago. I'm still a healthy weight. He still thinks I am beautiful. But I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't like the way my gut has been feeling or acting the last several weeks (gas, bloating, bowl problems - yuck). So I need a plan. A plan that says to my body that I love me and will care for myself with loving, not harsh, limits.
For the next two weeks I will: Step One: Say good night to my dear boyfriend and start getting ready for bed by 9 pm on school nights. Good sleep (and enough sleep) affects not only my mood buy also my gut. *Except for Thursday night volleyball, but that will still have a reasonable bed-time, because activity and social time are important, too. Step Two: Not drink caffeine or soft drinks (caffeine-free or otherwise). They just aren't good for me. Step Three: Not consume processed sugars. Sugar creates gas. Gas creates discomfort in my body. Enough said. Step Four: Only eat what is planned, therefore I must meal plan! Weekends will be spent planning meals, shopping, and preparing food. Step Five: Make physical activity a priority again during the week by going to the gym once or twice on the weekend, and two times during the week.
Now, I need to create a physical recording system (not just electronic) because I like physically seeing this in front of me. Time to make an incentive chart for myself! What kind of cute stickers should I give myself....?
Two years ago I began this journey to better health, not knowing that I would have a blog with followers and be inspiring others. I began this journey so that they way I felt on the inside would be reflected on the outside. I began this journey to get back the person I wanted to be but had lost. I began this journey because I knew I needed to change so that I wouldn't end up with the health problems of other, older members of my family; I wanted to choose a different path.
So one night while I was dog-sitting, after getting back from a walk with Rudy and Casey, I was thinking about how easy it was to fit a little walk into my day. And I wondered why I didn't do that more often since it was so simple. Like a snowball rolling down the hill collects moment and mass, my idea transformed as I grabbed a piece of scratch paper and started a timeline.
I knew I needed to lose close to 100 pounds. I thought about 5 pounds a month sounded like a reasonable weight loss goal, so I believed I could reach my goal by the same time the next year. I drew out a timeline and marked out my end goal, and all the months between now and then. I started adding in my weight loss goals along the timeline.
But I knew I would need to do more than just want to lose the weight, I needed a plan for how to get there. And I also needed to improve some other areas of my life- flexibility and strength (because muscle helps burn fat and toning and firming will help my shape. Little by little I thought about small changes I could make to the way I ate and my physical activity each day. I had done Weight Watchers off and on since high school, taken sports medicine classes, and worked with a personal trainer in the past, so a lot of the basics I already knew - I just had to apply them.
December 2014
And so my journey began. Eating better breakfasts in January. Adding more fresh fruits and vegetables in the spring and summer. Trying new soup and stew recipes in the winter. Stretching. Yoga videos for some stretching. Wall push-ups. Then increasing the angle of the wall push-ups. Then moving to floor push-ups on my knees. Walking longer. Walking faster. Walking hillier routes. Every month I tweaked everything a little.
And the weight started to come off. I started to feel more vibrant and alive. I started to feel more my age, younger even. My shape was changing and I felt great.
When I moved to Salt Lake City a year and a half ago, the apartment complex had a fitness center I could start using. Before everything had been walking outside and body weight or 2# dumbbells. Now I could increase the weights because the fitness center had variety, and I could walk on the treadmill or use the elliptical machine. And my shape kept changing and my fitness continued to improve. I met my weight loss goal, but more importantly, I improved my quality of life because I could now do again the things I loved- chase my niece and nephew around the yard playing football at Thanksgiving, wear age-appropriate clothes that flattered my figure, and come out of my shell and get involved in my community again.
Merry Christmas and Happy 2nd Anniversary! December 2015
This past summer, I joined a "real" gym so I could attend classes like yoga and kickboxing. And, because I had become a runner, run on a treadmill in the summer heat and winter cold. I don't like to run in extreme temperatures - yuck! I completed my first ever 5k race in July, and then two more later this summer. Setting my sights a little loftier, I completed 10k training, but haven't done a race yet (the running outside in extreme temperatures thing), and am now moving on to half-marathon training with the help of a personal trainer.
On vacation at my grandparent's house in Denver, it's too cold to run outside, so I'm back to my roots - walking outside. And a yoga video (per my trainer's instructions!). I feel vibrant, healthy, beautiful, and comfortable in my own skin. My body isn't perfect, but my body is pretty amazing. It's come so far on this journey and all the awful things I'd put it through in the past. I'm now taking better care of it and thanking it for carrying me this far. I need it for the next 60-70 years! Happy 2nd anniversary to me, the Urban Hiker Girl!
I'm really grateful for the workouts you've put me through these last few weeks. I can feel changes happening through the focused workouts you've designed. I appreciate the focus you've given on making my body stronger and feel better. I love the challenge you've given me in my fitness training.
But this diet thing with more protein.... it's causing me some stress and frustration. You want me to eat more protein and less carbs. I just don't know how to eat more protein while eating a diet that also includes enough fruits and vegetables. I think that may be why (confession time) I ate a box of cookies this morning for breakfast.
I know. I know.
I only meant to eat one or two. I should have headed the warning from the lady who said don't open it until you're prepared to eat the whole box because it's hard to stop. I should have listened to my gut that said give the cookies to someone else because I knew they would be tempting to me.
I'm sorry.
I'm apologizing to myself and to you. I know you're investing time and energy to help me transform me. I'm investing time, energy, and money in this, too. And eating a box of cookies for breakfast defeats that. I get it. I'm not trying to undo our hard work. I'm stressed. I'm an emotional eater. I know that. You know that now, too. I know I need to make some changes if I'm going to see the results that I want and that you are trying to give me. I promise that I'm doing my best every day. I wake up with the intention of doing the best to give my best. Please don't take this personally, it's not about your skill as a trainer - you're excellent - it's about my emotional-ness right now. I resolve each day, each moment to do my best to take care of myself. Sometimes I slip. I'll forgive myself. I'd appreciate your forgiveness, too. I'm trying, really I am. No excuses, just an explanation.
The rest of this day will be better. ...but I still need to work on figuring out that protein - fruit/veg balance.
Sincerely,
Urban Hiker Girl
When I first started my path as the Urban Hiker Girl, one of my goals was to be able to run. I wasn't exactly sure how far or when I wanted to run, only that I wanted to be able to do it. Comfortably. I wanted to be able to run and play with my niece and nephew and my students without going out of breath quickly, without hurting my joints, and without looking awkward.
I can run now! I can chase my niece and nephew and my students and not be out of breath and not look awkward. Granted, sometimes those kids are still faster than me, but I can do it.
I've started to add jogging on the treadmill into my workouts. For a while I was mixing it in with walking by varying my pace on the treadmill every time a song on my workout playlist changed (song change = pace change).
A few months ago I downloaded the Couch to 5k app (click here to get yours!), but I didn't start using it right away. I let it sit on my phone for a while. I even contemplated deleting it because I wasn't sure I was going to use it; I kept it because I paid for it and didn't want to throw away money.
Last week I started using it. I pushed through week one. It was mostly a mental battle because of the stress I've been under; the variety in the workout was similar to how I'd been varying my treadmill workouts so the physical part wasn't too hard. But now I can say: I'm becoming a runner! Week two, day one done and more to come!
"If you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far. It doesn't matter if today is your first day or if you've been running for twenty years.There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run." ~John Bingham
I've had several ideas for Blog post titles and ideas going through my head the last couple days. Too bad I didn't write them down so now I don't know what great words of wisdom I thought I had to share.
So maybe it doesn't have to be majorly inspiring (awe-inspiring or otherwise), maybe it's ok if this is just about every day life. Here goes.
It's the new year. Any resolutions? No, actually, I've only ever made one resolution in my life (and stuck to it) that I remember. But I do have some goals for this year.
1. Think before I eat.
2. Remember why I started this journey- keep in front of me my goals that I started with last year.
3. Don't let food rule my life and don't let emotions rule my eating.
4. Don't make decisions when I'm feeling out of sorts, other than to get back into sorts by getting a good night's sleep, eat good for me food, and get some physical activity into my day; in other words- take care of myself.
The last two weeks I sort of forgot some of these things. I know, it's the holidays, stress mounts, it's easy to do, but then one might question the importance of those goals in the first place if they are so easily forgotten or set aside. They don't lose their importance during the holidays, in fact I should focus on them even more carefully when I know I will be stressed, as a form of self-care and stress-prevention.
As I sit here writing, I'm over-tired and my stomach is upset with me. I didn't get enough sleep last night and I haven't eaten well today. Not very good self-care. I'm not going to beat myself up, but I am doing some self-observation to remind myself how this came to be and reminding myself of my goals and what I need to do to get back on track.
Note to Self:
What do I need? I need to get to bed soon (but I knew I needed to get some of these thoughts of my head and shared with you so that I would sleep better). I also need to rub some peppermint oil on my belly, drink my peppermint tea, and forgive myself for not eating enough fruit, veggies, and good protein today. I'm coming up with a plan for tomorrow, starting with going to bed soon tonight and heading to the fitness center at the top of my priority list for tomorrow, along with defrosting some chicken so I can cook at home tomorrow instead of eat out.
Knowing these things are making me not feel like my normal, lovely self, I'm observing how I am feeling instead. I'm feeling needy and oh so very short-tempered. I want company, but only someone who will pamper me. I'm not sure it's fair to inflict myself on anyone, so I'm not asking for company. And the poor cat keeps getting pushed off my lap and tossed out of my bedroom. (Somewhat in my defense, every time she goes in my bedroom she chews on my wall decor or the tassels on my throw pillows or knocks my fragile angels on the floor breaking their wings off, so I'm only protecting my things.) Oh, and the darned cat keeps stopping right in front of my feet when I'm walking; and since she's dark gray and small and our apartment is poorly lit she's almost gotten stepped on on a few occasions. And I'm having very little patience with her.
And men. Should I even go there? I just don't understand them. Most of the time I don't think I ever will. Ok, so taking my own advice, I'm going to not make any decisions or assumptions about what this particular one is thinking or feeling. I'm going to go put my pajamas on, turn off my phone, and crawl into bed for a good night's sleep. Maybe my relationship with him (and food!) will look differently (better!) in the morning after a long night's sleep.
This weekend was the final weigh-in before the holidays. Didn't lose that last 0.7 pounds last week to make my goal; in fact, I am up a bit. And guess what- I'm ok with that.
The holidays, and preparations for them, are stressful enough without the addition of weight loss. Weight loss is hard enough without the stress of the holidays. I know why the scale went up a bit this week. I didn't eat very well. I did exercise, but I didn't eat enough fruits and veggies like I like to and I ate way more sweets than I care to admit to. So yah, the scale went up a bit.
I'll keep doing what I need to do to take care of myself this week. I'll enjoy Christmas Day dinner with family and while I won't go overboard with eating, I won't worry about staying under a certain number of calories. My plan is to fill my plate with lots of veggies and protein, take the special foods that I don't get often and the foods that I enjoy. And taste the other foods. And, if something special or that is only served on special occasions isn't as good as I had hoped, I give myself permission to leave it on my plate.
I'm not worried about the number on the scale because I know I am so much more and have achieved so many great things this year.
I can run. (Slowly, but I can do it!)
I can walk a long ways.
I can hike.
I can plank.
I can chase my niece and nephew around playing football and not get winded.
I can climb rock walls.
I can dance.
I can sing.
I feel comfortable in my own skin. With and without clothes on. I can look at myself naked in the mirror and like what I see.
I can play with my students.
I can crawl around on the floor with them.
I can walk into a crowded room and not want to be a wall flower, but rather want to mingle and meet people.
I can laugh with others and at myself.
I can speak my mind and ask for what I want and need (do you know how liberating this is!?).
I can love and be loved.
There are so many things I can do, that I'm not going to let a number on a scale bring me down.
I've been (mostly) sugar-free since Wednesday. Mostly only natural sugars from fruits, but you know... it's the holidays and there's lots of goodies being shared. It can be hard to resist.
Thankfully, I was feeling more like myself for my dinner date last night. And he was so sweet. I had been going crazy for no reason (other than the sugar overload coursing through my body and making me feel off).
I did have some homemade candy this afternoon that had been part of a present from a student. It was so good that I couldn't hardly stop myself. Ok, I could have stopped myself, but thankfully they only gave me a little bit so I didn't do too much damage. ...and I spent about an hour and a half on the treadmill/elliptical this evening to make up for it. I'm feeling pretty darned good.
Tomorrow I will weigh in in the morning. We'll see what the scale says; will I make my goal before Christmas? Regardless of what the scale says, I'm feeling really good and looking really good. My clothes fit well. I feel healthy and happy and whole. I feel vibrant.
Now, I just need to remember those things every time I encounter sweets over the holidays so I can stay focused on keeping me healthy and happy.
Ok, I've said it again and again: it's important to celebrate along the way, so today I'm celebrating having reached another milestone. But first, let me say, I am NOT a runner.
One of my goals at the end of last December was to run. Not like I wanted to train for a marathon or anything, but I wanted to have the freedom to move my body in that way. I wanted to be able to run around with "my kids" and my niece and nephew. (My kids are my students.)
Today I ran around with "my kids" and had a blast! I joined in the game of tag during PE this afternoon. And I had so much fun. I could fake running slow so they could tag me not because I really was slow.
As I reflected on that success this evening as I left the fitness center I walked a little taller, with my back a little straighter, and a smile on my face. I have reached one of my goals and it feels great.
Ever have a workout you knew you would feel later? Ever have a workout that surprised you when you felt it later? The latter happened to me today.
As I posted in the blog, yesterday I tried a new way of doing lunges- on a rolled towel to help work my core muscles.I also started doing side leg extensions with a big stretchy band. (You know the kind where you stand and lift you keep your leg straight and lift it to the side? I do those straight out, but I also bring my leg in across the middle of my boday. Today my core muscles feel very much how they usually do after doing abs work (not much different, so I suppose that means I need to do something more/different, but that's a topic for another post); however, my thighs feel different. I think it's a combo of the balancing on the towel for the lunges and the rather new use of the band for the side leg extensions. It doesn't hurt, but it does feel different.
I'm ready for that feeling of "feeling it" to happen more often, especially as I try to push past a plateau that I've been on this month. Like my father last month, this month I am struggling to get past the 200 pound mark. Overall I lost 6.6 pounds last month, but it was a bit of a yo-yo the last couple of weeks. I did hit my goal of getting to 201 by the end of May, and if I'm very diligent, I think I'll make the "under 200 by my birthday" goal. (My birthday is this weekend!)
My boyfriend suggested an hour of intense, crazy dancing every day to push me past. He even demonstrated his suggestion for me- at the bus stop no less- which gave me a good laugh, but not much motivation. I'm thinking more along the lines of adding a Zumba class in to my routine each week. My dance studio where I take salsa lessons offers Zumba almost every day of the week so I really just have to pick a day that works and go try it. (I used to do Zumba in the Curves circuit, so it's not totally new to me, but I also know it will be different from that.) I'm thinking Thursday might be a good day to go try it out. Here's hoping my motivation lasts until then...
As I mentioned in previous posts, I created a calendar of goals for each month. I also had some overall goals of things I wanted to be able to do again. Last night I reached on of those overall goals; I climbed a rock wall again!
The rock wall at REI
Over a month ago I signed up for an open climb night at my local REI and for various reasons had to keep postponing it. Last night I almost didn't go because it had been a long hot day, I was tired, my body wasn't well rested so I knew it wouldn't be able to perform at it's best, and I was scared that maybe I wasn't ready. I talked to a friend whom I hoped to see later that evening and he encouraged me to go and have fun. I'm so glad I did!
The instructors were great; very positive and encouraging and engaging of all the climbers. There were four climbers and two belayers (instructors from REI) so we all took turns climbing. I kind of got pushed into being first up. Since I was not sure if my body was ready for this I decided to tackle the easiest part of the wall (a 5.4, I believe, for those who know rating scales, that only went half-way up). I got so close to the bell at the top of the section, and wouldn't you know it- I looked down and lost my nerve.
I repelled back down a little disappointed and frustrated. I had almost reached my goal- to get at least half-way up- I was proud of myself for trying and for getting up there and doing it, but at the same time a little embarrassed and self-conscious as I watched the other three climbers scramble up the wall to the very top on harder sections. Of course, they also came with their own gear and have been climbing more recently than I have. It's been about 7 years since I last climbed a rock wall, so I was able to let go of that judgment and give myself grace. I had done my best. Or had I?
With a little goading/encouragement from the male staffer belaying us I decided to try the other 5.4 section that went all the way to the top. He said the grips were bigger and easier. I don't think I got more than 20 feet off the ground before I got frustrated. I didn't know where to go for the next grip and I was angry with myself. I hung out there for a sec and then in another moment of embarrassment asked to come back down.
I had some internal conversations with myself. My goal had been to climb again- I'd done that. My goal for that night was to get at least half-way up- I hadn't done that. So was I done, or was I going to try one more time? ...
I decided to try the first section one more time. I scrambled up quickly to about the point where I had
The section of the wall that I climbed.
previously quit. And then I got up one more step. The bell at the top of my section was almost within reach! And I couldn't find a good spot for my foot to give myself the final push to ring the bell! I was mad and determined to not quit! I found a spot that was where I wanted it but not quite as big as I would have liked. I put my foot on it, found some good hand holds and stood up. And there was the bell! I tapped it. It gave a little jingle. Not nearly enough noise to signal my accomplishment so I grabbed the thing and shook it again, hard! I climbed the wall! And I made it to my goal! I rock!
I repelled back down with a big smile on my face and restored confidence in my body. It has taken a lot of abuse over the years; all the crap food I've eat and the neglect I've given it, but it still was able to help me get up the rock wall and make it to my goal. Thank you, body!
I'm going to keep working on improving my fitness and next time I go back to the wall maybe I'll make it three-fourths of the way up- or maybe even to the top! Let's see what else this body can do!
Doing my weekly weigh in this morning... With some fear and trepidation because I was off my normal routine for several days due to travel. So glad I did it though, because I'm only three and a half pounds away from my short term goal! I WILL be at under 200 lbs by my birthday!
