Balance

It's December. The most wonderful time of the year for baking, partying, and gifting. Not so wonderful for sticking to diet, exercise, and health plans.

Had a brief chat with my boyfriend this evening about what I need to take care of my (mental) health and manage stress for the next few weeks.
1. I need to eat well.
2. I need to make sure to get in bed by 10 pm on work nights.
3. I need to exercise regularly. (We joked that my trainer would be punishing me in the gym every night this upcoming week... Maybe not so much a joke after recent events.)
4. Minimize stressors, and relieve stress by cuddling more! (One of my top two love languages is physical touch, so cuddling is super important to me!)

I need to get back to focusing on the big picture and keeping everything in balance.
1. I will get through this. I've got a 100% success rate so far for overcoming obstacles.
2. Ten pounds is only ten pounds. I'm not obese again. But I do have to work hard to get it back off.
3. I feel better when I eat better, but feeling better doesn't mean I can slack off after a few days.
4. Sugar makes me feel horrible. I repeat: Sugar makes me feel horrible! My mood, my muscles, and my knees. Stay away from sugar!
5. There is more to life than managing food and exercising at the gym. Life is about balance.
6. Track receipts and get control of my budget (I've been ignoring balance in other areas of my life besides, food and exercise).
7. Find time to at least walk or do yoga every day. My health matters.
8. Eat more homemade food and less prepared food/fast food.
9. Make time for connecting with my boyfriend every day. Relationship health is just as important as my physical and financial health.
10.  ....that's enough list.

Finding balance is hard, but possible. I can do it - starting with prayer over all things!

Father God, please help me find balance in my life. You are the Creator of all things. You have  a plan and purpose for my life. Help me to not be so busy that I don't have time for the ministry tasks you have specially equipped me for. Help me to put you at the center of it all so that I can keep it all in balance, with your help. Thank you for showing me the way. Amen!

Seven Pounds

Ugh...

Ok. I need a plan.

I read a Facebook friend's post about how she made a plan, focused on her goals, and in 2 weeks took off 5 pounds.

I need a plan.

I've put on 7 pounds since I started seeing my boyfriend a month ago. I'm still a healthy weight. He still thinks I am beautiful. But I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't like the way my gut has been feeling or acting the last several weeks (gas, bloating, bowl problems - yuck). So I need a plan. A plan that says to my body that I love me and will care for myself with loving, not harsh, limits.

For the next two weeks I will:
Step One: Say good night to my dear boyfriend and start getting ready for bed by 9 pm on school nights. Good sleep (and enough sleep) affects not only my mood buy also my gut. *Except for Thursday night volleyball, but that will still have a reasonable bed-time, because activity and social time are important, too.
Step Two: Not drink caffeine or soft drinks (caffeine-free or otherwise). They just aren't good for me.
Step Three: Not consume processed sugars. Sugar creates gas. Gas creates discomfort in my body. Enough said.
Step Four: Only eat what is planned, therefore I must meal plan! Weekends will be spent planning meals, shopping, and preparing food.
Step Five: Make physical activity a priority again during the week by going to the gym once or twice on the weekend, and two times during the week.

Now, I need to create a physical recording system (not just electronic) because I like physically seeing this in front of me. Time to make an incentive chart for myself! What kind of cute stickers should I give myself....?

A Set Back

Oh dear....

Dear Mr. Trainer,
Please don't be mad and yell at me. I fell off the wagon last week. I fell hard. It's time for me to refocus. Please just help me refocus.
Sincerely,
Me

It's caught up to me. My aching shoulders, my stiff knees, and my upset stomach are all signs/symptoms of my poor eating, lack of exercise, and decrease in regular sleep at night. I need to get back on track.

If I never eat at another fast food or have another sweet (at least for the rest of this month!) I'll be ok with that. Ugh. I'm so... what's the word for when you haven't eaten well, slept well, or exercised much.... and my brain won't shut off and let me go to sleep even though I'm tired. So I thought I'd write in my blog since it's been forever.

And maybe I'll diffuse some lavender or take a melatonin to help me sleep in a bit, but first I need to get some thoughts out here and share on my blog!

I've started dating this guy (he's great!) and I've let it throw me off track. I need to keep my good health goals in mind as I continue to explore this new relationship. I need to make sure my boyfriend and my health are priorities that aren't conflicting.

....Boundaries. I need some healthy boundaries. I need to say good night to him at a reasonable hour that allows me the sleep I need to feel good. Because when I sleep well, I will eat well (or at least not "cheat" and snack on sweets between meals). And when I eat well and feel rested I will then have energy to go workout, which will then help me sleep well, and the cycle repeats itself all over again.


Dear Mr. Boyfriend,
I really like you. And I really like me. I need to be healthy to be my best with you, so I'm going to work on setting some healthy limits for myself and our relationship so that I can take care of me and be my best for you. I need your support in making it ok to take care of me by allowing me to say good night to you a little earlier that we have in the past few weeks. And I already know you're ok with this because you love and respect and care for me. I already know you want what's best for me (and it's one of the many reasons I love you). Thank you for helping me take care of myself.
Love,
Me

Bad Habit

Facebook reminded me of a post today that I made in this blog one year ago. (read it here) It was about being too busy. And just before I opened up Facebook, I'd been laying in bed thinking about how I am too busy lately, and I need to take stock of what I've been doing lately and evaluate what's most important to me. 

Something's gotta give and unfortunately it's been my health lately. I was commenting to my trainer that I am too mentally and physically exhausted to work out this weekend even though I'm "supposed to". Poor eating habits and lack of sleep at night so my body feels off. My digestive system has been feeling unhappy this week and I've noticed that my skin and face are lacking their usual glow. I don't like the way all of this is making me feel.

Skip ahead a few days as I revisit the start of this post. I dictated the first part into my phone's Blogger app over the weekend. Tonight, I'm sitting at home, having just watched last night's episode of Dancing With The Stars. Usually I'm out dancing at the Gallivan Center to live big band music on Tuesday nights, but tonight I listened to my body. I'm tired from not enough sleep, my knee was feeling funny as I walked upstairs to my apartment on my way home from work, and I just wasn't sure the weather was going to be nice enough for dancing outdoors (since my phone app kept giving me severe weather alerts). Bearing in mind my need to listen to my body and my desire to play volleyball tomorrow night (and possibly Thursday night), I decided that it would be in my best interest to stay home tonight and rest.

This bad habit of being too busy is hard to break (since I'm still working on it a year later), but I am working on it. Reflecting on my gratitude for listening to my body is a big step in this process. Yes, I'm sad that I missed the dance event this evening, especially because these outdoor concerts will be ending soon since fall is arriving. But I'm also grateful that I had a fun, full day today, and that I have a fun, full day to look forward to tomorrow. And I'm grateful that I had some time at home this evening to put my feet up and slow down. Hopefully by listening to my body tonight I'll be able to enjoy volleyball (and Sonic afterwards) tomorrow without my body reminding me of regrets for not listening and caring for myself.

But check on me, just in case, to make sure I'm checking in with myself and listening to my body.... it's still a habit in progress.

Northwest Adventure, day 2

I'm sure you're wondering where the post for day 1 is. There isn't one. I have done the drive from Salt Lake City to Boise several times now so it wasn't as note-worthy as these other legs of my trip will be.

So now, back to the topic at hand: day 2 of my summer roadtrip. Oregon.

Wow. Just wow.

The scenery was spectacular. I kept wishing I had more time to do the drive so I could slow down, take more pictures, take side trips down these interesting roads. Visit the wineries and distilleries I passed along the way.

And I wished I had a copilot to share the journey with. Someone to exclaim over the views with. Someone to share the driving with when I got tired. (Cause I got tired and had to stop for a nap in Bend.)

After passing several places where I loved the view and wished I had a copilot to take pictures while I drove, I finally decided to just stop and take the pictures myself. So I occasionally used some of the convenient pull outs to stop and snap a few pictures. It was addicting. I knew I'd have to limit myself or I'd never make it to grandma's house.

But of the views! The view were spectacular. And next time I hope to have a friend along for the ride.

P.S. The sound of the creek rippling over the rocks as it rolled around the curve was..... My soul was at peace. Psalm 23.

Honor God, Honor Others, Honor Myself

My friend Michael taught me to say in my prayers "what honors God, what honors others, and what honors me."

Today I woke up struggling with a situation and I was contemplating those words in prayer. I'm torn because what appears to honor the other person feels like a burden of obligation to me and therefore is not honoring of my feelings. So I continue to ponder the words "honor God, honor others, and honor me."

Yes, I should put honoring God above others and myself, but do I also put honoring others above honoring myself? At this point I'm really struggling with that idea. I spent too much time in my past putting others before me. And I grew to resent that and was too much of a people pleaser. I was not authentic. I was not myself. And so now I'm trying to find a balance between honoring others and honoring myself.

I spent some more time in prayer asking God to help me find balance in this situation, find a way to honor all involved, and give me a new perspective.

This evening I no longer feel burdened or obligated, but a peace when I think of doing what would honor the other person. Prayer changed me.

Strong and Beautiful

These last two weeks have provided me with some good reminders of things that are important to me: a good night's sleep,  healthy eating, dancing, and semi-competitive volleyball. ...though I haven't been reminded because of their presence but because of their absence.

Two weekends ago I missed my usual Friday and Saturday night dancing because of a weekend trip with a friend. We had some interesting adventures for sure, but they weren't part of my usual routine.  That's ok, but this week I really noticed their absence.

I also noticed the absence my healthy eating habits overt the weekend. Not only did it affect me physically, but also mentally. I'm not sure why I keep letting these slips happen when I know it makes me feel doubt myself and feel physically off balance.

On top of that was the irregular sleep patterns, which added to my mental stress and self doubt. I finally gave myself permission on Thursday and Friday to do what I needed to get enough sleep so that I didn't feel like I was dragging through the day. Now I need to keep up the good sleep habits.

Ahhh....and dancing and volleyball. I know I've shared this with some people before, but let me say it again: when I dance I feel beautiful, and when I play volleyball I feel powerful and strong. I love those feelings. I crave those reminders each week.

So here's to self-care and good mental and physical health.