Tuesday, I decided to take my exercise clothes to work so I could walk from my office to my mother's office after work to carpool home. I saved the $2.25 bus fare and enjoyed the sunshine, but I gained so much more.
As you can tell from the gap in the posts, I have been very busy this month. I was offered a job. In Utah. I was continuing interviews with several other employers and waiting for their decisions. My boyfriend is shipping out to Navy boot camp in a few weeks. I went out of town to visit for several days and then house-sat/dog-sat for two weeks. Lots going on for sure and lots of stress.
At 3:30 I changed into my workout clothes, closed up the office and hit the road. At first I missed my usual music, but after a few blocks I was glad to be without it. I let my mind wander over recent events- the job offered, the jobs I didn't get, my boyfriend, my boyfriend leaving, what will happen to our relationship, moving to Utah...enjoy the sunshine. As I said in a previous post, Urban Hiking is more than just a walk it's a time to think.
On Sunday at church with my boyfriend and his family we were talking about the Patriarchs and how God gave them promises for their future, sometimes unbelievable promises, such as Sarai having a baby when she was old and barren. I jokingly said "wouldn't it be great if God would give us big neon billboards so we would know what to do?" On my walk I realized that I had gotten what I asked for. The school in Utah offered me the job. I held out on accepting the job while I waited for other schools to make final decisions. Door after door closed, yet the door in Utah remained open. Ok, God, I get the message from this giant neon billboard- You want me to go to Utah.
I continued to reflect throughout the evening and realized that I had let myself get so consumed by stress (see above situations) and by fear and anxiety about making a big move that I forgot to be grateful. Grateful that God has answered, in His perfect time and in His perfect way, my prayer asking Him to give me a classroom of my own where I can teach full time again, to be active in Lutheran School ministry full-time again.
During my Tuesday night Bible study group's prayer time I started crying. (I don't think I have cried more in any one place other than my home than I have at my Bible study.) I felt sad that I had been so consumed by my fears about moving that I forgot to be grateful. Guilty that I had spent so much time being sad about the things I would be giving up here that I forgot to look at what I might gain. Praise God that He is more faithful than I; He never lost sight of me even when I took my eyes off of Him.
I saved $2.25 by walking instead of taking the bus, but I gained a whole lot more.