|Heading up the trail|
Monday, January 25, 2016
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
|This makes the rest time even harder... because I am a dancer.|
I hate knee pain.
I hate that I have to slow down and listen to my body. I'm tired of resting. Of feeling like I'm living life on the sideline.
Oh, here come the tears.
My body hurts. Don't push through the pain. It'll do more damage to my body later on. I'll end up needing knee replacement, too.
I miss doing the things I love - dancing, volleyball, running, hiking. I don't feel like myself. I can't do what I love and I feel sad. And angry. Why is my body letting me down? Why is my body doing this to me? Why?!
I know I need to rest. I'll appreciate it later when my body doesn't hurt from an injury, but right now it sucks. Pain is keeping me from doing the things I enjoy and living my life the way I want to.
But I'm obeying my trainer. And most importantly, I'm listening to my body. Body says stop, so I stopped. I walked out of my dance lesson only 20 minutes into the hour long class. My knee said this might not be good, so I stopped.
And here I am writing a blog about it and crying....
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Dear Friends and Family,
For the last 7 years, my identify has been wrapped up in being a teacher; when I was criticized as a teacher it was a big sting because that was how I found my identity - if I wasn't a good teacher then i wasn't a good person. I never thouht of what I would do if I weren't a teacher because that's who I was, at least I thought it was. So, not being a teacher had left me feeling like I lost a part of my identity.
I've spent the last few months spending a lot more time in the Word and personal devotions. Except in February because I wasn't really enjoying the Portals of Prayer so I had stopped doing them as my devotions, but I didn't replace them with anything else. I asked one of my pastors for a suggestions. He had recommended a particular online devotion, but I had not followed through on his suggestions (sorry Pastor!). Until today...
Today, I was on biblegateway looking up a verse that's on my page-a-day calendar in the Message translation and I wanted to see it in NIV. On the biblegateway homepage I followed a link to online devotions. This devotion was a great reminder that who I am is not about what I do; my identify is found in Christ! So whether I am an expeditor at the manufacturing company or a teacher at a Lutheran school or... it doesn't change who I am - I am God's child, His witness in my workplace, His servant, His voice, His hands and feet. And He never changes, even if my job does!
So, that's my little revelation I had today - just wanted to pass this on to you in case it can help shine some of His light in your life!
Monday, January 4, 2016
I've been working out now with my personal trainer, Sage, for a month. During my workout with him this evening, he asked me about if I'm seeing results and was happy with his services. I said I was happy with him, and then moved on to focusing on the torture, er, I mean exercise he wanted me to perform. Clench this. Stand like that. Elbows and knees in certain positions. You know, focus.
But later this evening, as I went about cleaning the bathroom, still in my workout garb and jamming to the radio dancing, I noticed something. I look good. My tummy jiggles a little less and the pooch is smaller. And my back fat, you know the stuff that hangs out over the bra band? Yah, that, it's a little smaller too.
And then I remembered something from this afternoon. As I was walking through the hallway, I thought my legs felt better. Stronger. And maybe a bit less touching, like there is some thigh gap.
Oh, and the other day, when pulling on my leggings, I thought my butt felt firmer.
So, yah, Sage, I am a better Becky. Thank you for helping me get here. And thank you for helping me go farther, get faster, and get firmer. Still more good things to come!
*And if you live in the SLC area and are looking for a personal trainer, I highly recommend him! Find him on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10208221251794954&id=1412140965
He's the real deal!
Friday, January 1, 2016
Confession: I don't love dancing right now.
The last few times I've gone out to go dancing, I've done more watching than dancing, and I leave disappointed.
At first I've wondered what's wrong with me that no one is asking me to dance. And I thought about it.
Nothing. Nothing is wrong worth me.
I'm beautiful. I look good. I'm dressed nicely. I smell good. I'm a good dancer. I'm trying to make eye contact with men so they can ask me to dance. I'm near the dance floor so they don't have to wade through crowds to get to me.
It's not working. Last night, in two hours I danced maybe five or six times. Wednesday night, about the same but over a three hour period. And at the Christmas formal it was very similar; my biggest disappointment that night, though, was not a single swing dance with swing partner! And at all these events there are usually several guys sitting, or standings around, talking and not dancing.
So, really, I must conclude that there is something wrong with the men since they are not asking. Yes, I know I can ask a guy to dance; however, in ballroom dance that is not proper etiquette.
I'm not going to give up dancing, but I am contemplating a break from it if things don't improve.
Disappointed. Very disappointed.