Thursday, January 8, 2015

Uncomfortable and Unsure

Confession: All week I've felt bloated and been gassy.

I'm sorry, I know it's not lady-like and perhaps it's TMI. But it happens to all of us, right? And hey, this is my personal blog you're reading, so it's like you're reading my diary of sorts.

I've been uncomfortable in my own skin all week. My clothes feel like they fit a little differently- uncomfortably- even though the scale doesn't say I've gained weight. But this discomfort has been affecting my thoughts, mood, and emotions.

I've noticed this week that I've questioned if my guy likes me. Nothing in the way he interacts with me has changed for the worse, so where do these doubts come from? I can only conclude that it's because I'm not happy with me. (In fact, things seem a bit better between us. I've been distant because I haven't felt good and he's seemed more eager to reach out to me, which is a good thing I believe.)

Reflecting on my food choices this week, I've stayed in my calorie limits and I don't think I've eaten anything terribly bad for me. In fact, I've eaten mostly good homemade dinners, which isn't always the case. But I've eaten rushed meals or eaten later in the evening than usual. I suspect that these may be culprits in my "stomach problems".

I also think I've missed out on eating enough veggies. That, I think, could be another big problem. Tomorrow, I'm back to my big salad for lunch routine. And if I get to bed soon and sleep well, I'm getting back to my workout routine after taking the past two days off for various reasons. (I know I shouldn't workout 7 days a week because the body needs rest, but I didn't even have energy for a short, moderately paced walk today that I was hoping to get in.)

So, while I'm feeling uncomfortable in my skin and having moments of doubt about my relationship (wondering if he still actually likes me, I know I still like him), I have realized it's not a good time to make any decisions (about the relationship, or other major things). I need to take care of myself and try to get back to status quo with my food, exercise, and sleep. I need to care for my physical self which will then help care for my emotional self- starting now. It's time for bed. Hopefully a good night's sleep, a salad for lunch tomorrow, and I'll start to feel like a new woman, my old self again.

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