I was working out this afternoon and this song came on my workout playlist: "Faithful" by Hawk Nelson. Take a listen.
I've been doing some reflecting on relationships this past week and spending a lot of time in The Word, in prayer, in my journal, and in conversation with godly advisers. Through this challenging situation I've been learning things about myself. More importantly I've been learning things about God and my relationship with Him.
I thought about how I had been longing for a word from the guy I'm dating, just a few moments of his time, reassurance that he still cares and that he will keep his promise to see me again. I longed for these things so much that my heart ached, felt like it was breaking, and I cried a lot. And as I dove into God's Word for comfort it slowly dawned on me- isn't this how I should feel about spending time with God? Shouldn't I long for Him, spending time in prayer and His Word as much or more than I long for time with the guy I'm dating?
Yes, at times my world feels like it's falling apart (and I'm dealing with the emotional stuff and balancing out hormones) because the plans we had made together don't appear to be coming to fruition. And because I can be a bit of a control-freak it's hard for me to let the man take the lead in the relationship. And because I'm super-organized and into detailed planning it's hard for me to handle the unknown. I know these things about myself. It doesn't make this any easier, but at least I know this about myself. And now I know, really know, how God wants me to feel about Him. And perhaps a bit of how He feels about me?...