Monday, December 28, 2015

Exercising Demons

My mood was in the toilet when I got up this morning. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was ready to cuss someone, anyone, out if they got in my way.

My cat died.
My grandfather is aging and it's hard to see his decline in health. (But so grateful he's still here and I can be with him!)
I haven't been able to exercise the way I want.
I didn't pack the right kind of clothes for outdoor exercise.
I didn't pack the right kind of clothes for anything outside.
I'm stuck indoors. (For an extrovert who likes to be out doing stuff this is SO hard!)
I'm stuck with the same three other people (whom I do love, really!). (see above note- very hard!)
My butt STILL hurts from riding the exercise bike.

I've eaten way too much sugar to stuff the feelings of the things noted above, which has made my body feel awful and only adds to the stress. My joints are inflamed and my muscles are sore.

Desperate times...
or, German determination....
or, just plain stubborn!
I was in a mood, y'all! So when my mother asked if I wanted to ride along to the Post Office and check out hotels for Grandpa's birthday, I had to do some thinking. A change of scenery would be great. But I knew I was in a foul mood and didn't want to take it out on the other people around me. I said I'd go, but had second thoughts while showering. I waffled back and forth until it came time to go and I decided to go.

Glad I went. I got to see that it really wasn't so bad out. And while eating lunch on our way home from the errands, I determined that I would just layer up no matter how awkward it might be. I was going out for a walk!

And walk I did! I thought that if I just did the short loop that I had done on my first walk here last week that I would be doing pretty good. When I got to the open field, I pulled my scarf up over my nose so I wouldn't have to breathe in the frigid air, and continued on. When I got to the turning point to go home, I determined I was able and wanting to do more, so I continued on the path for the full outer loop.

Feeling good as I rounded the last corner before the turn back into the subdivision, I determined to go a little farther on. Instead of just over a mile, like the first day, I did 3.5 miles, y'all! I can't tell you how good I feel. I definitely had to push through some mental battles against the desire to get out of the cold and get warm, and the anxious thoughts about all the other things going on in my life. Just after mile two I got to the point where I was just walking, and man it felt sooooo gooooood!

I'm so glad I exercised past those demons today. I think I can be nice now - to myself and to others.

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