If You Give a Teacher A Plan...

It's the night before the end of the quarter and I'm totally relaxed. It's the weirdest feeling ever.

Normally, teachers are frantically entering grades, writing comments, and all sorts of other end of quarter projects. But I'm pretty chill. And this is a first. No, I didn't forget something (or some things). I spread out my projects and started them earlier, giving myself earlier deadlines.

I did this because I knew what I wanted tonight to be like. I did not want the usual late night at school, either having a late dinner once I finally got home at 9 pm, ordering pizza delivers to school and eating most or all of it because I'm stressed, or skipping dinner altogether. I wanted a night with dinner at home before going to dance lessons. I wanted a night with a normal meal time. I wanted a night where I can get well rested for the big event after a full day of teaching tomorrow.

I wanted a low stress day. So I planned for it.

Best. Plan. Ever.

Planning to stagger my deadlines and get things done early allowed me to take care of my life outside of work. Because I didn't have to stay late to finish all those things, I got to eat a healthy, homemade dinner within the time frame my body needs to eat each day.

And because I ate a healthy homemade dinner within my eating window, I will sleep well tonight.

And because I got home to eat in my time frame, I was able to go to my dance lesson.

And because my school work is done, my dinner eaten in my eating window, and my dance lesson attended, I will sleep well tonight, well rested and ready for a very full day to wrap up the third quarter.

All thanks to good planning.

If I can do this with my school work and eating habits, I should do this with my finances....

This Too Shall Pass

I'm in the best physical shape of my life.

I love my school: the staff, students, parents. Heck, I even like the school board and administrator!

I have a good circle of friends and a fairly active social life.

My spiritual life could be a little better. I don't spend enough time in personal prayer, and sometimes I've missed church. But I still have a strong faith and know God is with me.

Why do I feel so "not me"? Why don't I feel very "Becky-like"?

After spending all day yesterday horizontally, either on the couch or in bed because I'm sick, I woke up today feeling rested and feeling more like me again. (The meds helped with that, too.) So I did some more thinking about what's different.

A few days ago I thought I was in a spiritual depression because Sunday morning worship has not been feeding me for over a year. But really, the past five months I've been too tired to enjoy things I used to love: running, volleyball, and dancing. And I've had a bit more stress and not been sleeping very well.

And then it hit me....This has all been going on since about October and that's when I got two new, high energy students. And those two, combined with three other high energy kids in my class, have been draining my energy. No wonder I'm not enjoying the things I used to love - I'm too tired to do them!

my student's current motto....?

Don't get me wrong, I love all 13 of my students. They make me laugh one minute, and the next minute my jaw is on the floor and I'm scratching my head wondering "what the heck were they thinking?" One minute they are giving me hugs, telling me they love me and I'm the best teacher ever, and the next minute they are having a fit and yelling that I'm so mean and I hate them. One moment they're in rapt attention hanging on my every word, and then next minute they are so loud that they can be heard at the other end of the hallway. It's exhausting!

So I'm going to accept, without judgment, that these next couple months until school is out will be hard. I will have even less energy as the weather gets warmer and we get closer to the end of the school year because the children will be more excited and wiggly. I may have more quiet evenings and less active weekends until school is out. I'm going to love myself and those energetic kids, seek support from coworkers and parents when I need it, and remind myself that "this, too, shall pass...." (maybe not soon enough on some days!). I will treat all with compassion and without judgment.

Parent-Teacher Conferences

Last night on the way home, exhausted from a long day of teaching followed by Parent-Teacher conferences until 8:30 pm, I had a revelation: Parent-Teacher Conferences weren't scary anymore.

My first several years of teaching I always dreaded Parent-Teacher conferences. I was afraid that parents would question what I was doing and that I wouldn't be able to defend myself. I worried that I wouldn't have the answers to their questions so they would think I wasn't a good teacher. I was afraid to tell them about struggles their child was having and that they wouldn't support me, or they wouldn't agree, or they wouldn't....something. I was afraid I wasn't a good enough teacher and that they would see through my wonderful, happy teacher facade I put on.

Well, for those who have been following the blog, you know my confidence level has changed. For old and new alike, let me tell you - it was not easy to change! It took years of rewiring my brain to see myself as good enough just as I am. It took a lot of hard work to learn to be me - they can take it or leave it, but here's who I am and I like me.

I now believe in myself. I know I am a good teacher. I love my kids - first and foremost - and they know that and they love me, too. Second to that, I get to teach them about Jesus every day by my actions and my words.

I get to know my kids and how they learn best so that I can be effective in my teaching. I adapt to their needs.

I keep my room neat and organized.

I have high expectations and they rise to meet them.

I shower them with love, affection, and affirmation.

I believe in myself. I could go on about the qualities that make me a good teacher, but I don't need to. I know who I am and what I am. I am comfortable being me, and the confidence I exude shows. Parents support me. And, because I love their kids, they like me.

So, Parent-Teacher Conferences aren't so scary anymore.

Refocusing...aka- my plan to stay away from sugar!

I've had WAY too much sugar this week!

I took a nap after work because I felt exhausted. I didn't sleep well last night- because I sugar and stress yesterday. I was drained today- because of sugar and stress. I slept horribly during my nap this afternoon- because of sugar and stress.

I tossed and turned feeling anxious and having an upset stomach. I finally gave up on sleeping and had a text chat with my mom. I realized that I needed to "listen to my gut" and get away from the sugar. It was making me sick and the stress worse. And I realized that I needed to go for a run, no matter how painful it would be because of the achy joints caused by sugar.

As I ran, my playlist  again got to the songs that brought me back on Tuesday. I focused on hearing the music and feeling the joy of moving. And, I decided that I needed to make a plan.

After getting off the treadmill, I wrote my first couple steps to my plan:
1- No more sweets until my birthday. Then, one treat with my family. Then, no more sweets again.
2- Eat a good dinner tonight: filet mignon, stir fried veggies, and quinoa. (And yes, it was as awesome as it sounds.)

And now I've added a few more:
3- Drink a lot of water to flush out my system.
4- Pack lots of healthy food to take to work tomorrow so I have good options to help me avoid temptation.
5- Go to bed early and (try to) get a good night's sleep to help reduce stress.
6- Turn off the technology early to help my brain unwind so I can sleep.

....so, good night!