Sunday, June 22, 2014

Celebrate! ...maybe...

I usually weigh myself once a week first thing in the morning. Usually on a Saturday, but depending on plans I may do it on Friday morning. Two weekends ago I weighed in on Friday morning and was down about a pound. Hooray!

This weekend I didn't plan for. I knew I would be dog-sitting and staying in someone else's house. I guess I wanted to overlook my weekly weigh in. I knew the week prior to the weigh in would be stressful and that I might not do the things I usually do to take care of myself. I put myself on the back burner, but that was a conscious choice for the short-term (see previous posts).

As of Thursday afternoon I was back to focusing on myself again.... ok, maybe not Thursday afternoon. I was still very focused on my boyfriend and his leaving for boot camp. But Thursday night I for sure was focused on me again. I got a good night's sleep by going to bed early-ish.

Friday and Saturday I worked harder to take care of myself and did ok, but wasn't ready to face the scale. Conveniently, I didn't know if there was one in the house where I was staying.

Due to some motivation by a friend I went in search of a scale to face it. I needed to know the weight no matter what.

So this morning I stepped on the scale first thing. I had to stare at the dial for a bit for the number to sink in to my brain. Partly it was disbelief. Partly it was just early morning so it was taking a little longer to register. Now granted this isn't my usual scale so it's "zero" may be different from my usual scales "zero", but according to THIS scale, I have successfully moved past my 200 pound plateau and am at 195.

195! I should celebrate! I should be ecstatic! But I'm afraid to celebrate. What if MY scale at home doesn't say that? What if next weekend I weigh myself on MY scale and it's up?

Check out those white legs! Blinding!
What do I do? Forget the numbers and focus on how I feel. I feel good in my body. I feel less bloated than earlier in the week when I was eating poorly. I feel lighter and able to move with more grace and freedom. I feel beautiful and comfortable in my clothes. (And having a beautiful new dress from my boyfriend that I feel pretty wearing helps!)
Pretty polka dot dress from my boyfriend.

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