Monday, June 23, 2014

Old Me - New Me

It's been a heck of a day. Apartment hunting. Online. Long-distance. With a roommate from another state. (She and I are both going to be newbies at the same school this fall.) AND missing my boyfriend who left for the Navy four days ago. Going to his storage unit to drop off some things and pick up some other things. AND it was hot out today.

I'm pooped.

The old me would've found some way to muster up energy to go to the grocery store for a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Or stopped somewhere to get chocolate. Or just guzzled from the bottle of Hershey's syrup in the fridge.

The new me knows that 1- it won't make me feel better and 2- the calories aren't worth it.

I just need to sit with my feelings and be ok with missing my boyfriend, crying when I need to, and accepting that these are temporary feelings. I also need to find another way to soothe myself.

I know a walk would make me feel better, but I'm not going to "should" myself into taking a walk. Instead, I'm going to allow myself to sit on my butt in front of the TV and knit without telling myself I should be going for a walk, or I should be water the plants, or I should be.... because what I should be doing is honoring my body, listening to how my body feels, and allowing my feelings to just be feelings and not dictate what I eat or anything else.

Feelings are just feelings. I like the new me. I'm proud of the new me. The new me is 50 pounds lighter than the old me at the start of this year.

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